As Bob Dyllan wrote over 60 years ago, The Times They Are Changing, and I’ve grown up through those constantly changing times.
I recently met a distant relative who is a lesbian. I asked how her ‘partner’ was, and she immediately answered, “She’s fine”. She seemed unfazed by my question and didn’t seem offended, but later, I wondered if I should have asked how her ‘wife’ was. As far as I know, there are no other lesbians within my small circle of friends and relatives, so I was unsure about what terminology would offend and which terminology was alright.
This led me to think about how I describe people in general, and how things have changed over my lifetime. I have always thought of people from Australia as Aussies, people from Argentina as Argies, people from Czechoslovakia as Czechs, people from Japan as Japs, people from Malaysia as Malays, people from Afghanistan as Afghans, people from Uzbekistan as Uzbeks, people from Pakistan as Pakis, and so on.
All those shortened names have been used as a matter of convenience, and to me they have been neutral terms, not meant to convey special privilege and certainly not meant to cause offence. For a long time, I could not understand why the use of the word ‘Paki’ was deemed to be offensive. To me, a person from Pakistan was a Paki in the same way that a person from Britain was a Brit. It was purely and simply an abbreviated form of their countries name. I never meant any offence, so assumed no offence could be caused.
I’m quick to grasp some things, but other things I’m a bit slower about, so it’s taken me a few years to get here. But what’s important, is not how I perceive the words I say, but how they are perceived by the recipient. I may not cause deliberate offence, but if what I say is perceived as offensive by the person I am talking to, then I need to moderate my language.
Customs and expected behaviour change, but language, and particularly the English language, is also constantly evolving, and our use of language needs to constantly evolve too. Sometimes people seem too easily offended, but it is not up to the listener to change their way of listening. It is up to us, those who have the privilege of speaking or writing, to be aware of the sensibility of others. It is up to us, not to cause offence.
Bob Dyllan was right. For the times they are a changing.
